You’ve probably heard that parental stress is at an all-time high. Research from the United States Surgeon General reports that 41% of parents in the U.S. now feel so stressed most days that they can’t function, and 48% say most days their stress is completely overwhelming.
Considering there are about 63 million parents in the United States who live with children under the age of 18 years old, that’s a whole lot of people experiencing way too much stress. All that stress can lead to parental burnout, which is defined as “emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and a decrease in self-fulfillment.”
So what’s the antidote to stress and burnout? Self-care, or actions done intentionally in support of one’s mental, emotional, or physical well being. So what does self care really look like and why do we need it? Read on for some stress-busting strategies.
Why Do People Need Self-Care?
Parents deserve and need self-care we don’t collapse under the weight of everything demanding our energy and attention. Of course, self-care means different things for different people, but committing to doing something for yourself on a daily basis is crucial to leading a happy, healthy life.
What Does Self-Care Really Look Like for Parents?
If you’re a parent, you might flinch at the thought of dedicated time for yourself every single day. There’s so much to do within the day that it’s hard to picture adding anything else to your plate. That said, true self-care will make the to-do list feel easier and maybe even shorter.
It’s important to understand what self-care is not. There’s an entire industry built around capitalizing on the concept of self-care. Self-care is not the once-in-a-blue-moon spa visits or a weekend getaway with friends.
It’s not indulgent.
It’s not selfish.
It’s not fleeting.
It’s planned.
It’s deliberate.
It’s infused into your daily life.
It’s a practice.
As parents, you already have the tools to tackle the dedication to self-care. Think about it. Since becoming a parent, you’ve had to adapt to a planned and deliberate schedule. However, for most of us, all of that time has been dedicated to the care of others—at work and at home. Self-care is about carving back some of that time to refuel yourself so you can give your best to the things that matter most to you.
Simple Tips to Start Practicing Self-Care
Since self-care is an individualized experience, there’s no set regime to follow. However, there are a few key components that can apply to almost everyone.
Make a “No” List
If anything is a “first step” in self-care, this is it. Take 30 minutes to think about what brings you the most stress in daily life. Then think about which things you can realistically say “no” to. Maybe it’s saying “no” to checking your phone in the evenings, saying “no” to certain gatherings, or saying “no” to working through lunch. All of us have something that if we simply said “no” to it would automatically take a weight off.
Get Sleep
Adults need at least 7 hours of sleep every night. There aren’t really exceptions to that. Have trouble reaching that goal? Try creating a wind-down routine each night, which signals your body that it’s time to rest. That includes putting your phone down at least 30 minutes before your turn in since blue light emitted from your device can mess with your circadian rhythm (not to mention what doomscrolling does for your mindset). Try turning down the thermostat a touch (experts say 65 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit is the optimal temperature for sleep), and don’t skip your workout: Research published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that you might fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and sleep more deeply on the days when you work out.
Find a Form of Exercise You Enjoy
Movement is not only linked to physical fitness, but it can do wonders for your mental health, too. It improves mood and lowers stress. In fact, a survey of 7,973 office workers between 2020 and 2022 found that those who engaged in at least 25 minutes of moderate or vigorous exercise, along with 30 to 60 minutes of light activity each day, had a 62% lower risk of burnout. Choose any workout that makes you feel good — swim, run, dance, bike, lift weights, play tennis, row a boat — there’s a lot to choose from. Whatever it is, it shouldn’t always feel like a chore you have to endure.
Focus On a Nutrient-Dense Diet
Pile your plate with fresh, whole, minimally processed foods such as fresh vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains to support sustained energy levels. In a 2021 study, people who ate a diet full of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins reported significantly less stress and lower levels of burnout symptoms
Spend Quality Time with Loved Ones
Choose in-person connections and conversation whenever possible: Social support and feeling connected has been shown to improve physical health (including controlling blood sugars, improving cancer survival and decreasing cardiovascular mortality) as well as mental health (reducing depressive symptoms, alleviating post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, and boosting overall mental health).
Do Something That Brings You Joy Every Day
Maybe that means calling the sitter and going to the movies one day and the next it’s having a dance party with the family in the living room. Mix it up but look for your personal joy every day.
Go to the Doctor
Seriously, when was the last time you made your annual check-up on a regular timeline?
Unwind Daily
Dedicate 30 minutes to something that helps you unwind and relax every day. Consider trying meditation, which slows your breathing rate, lowers levels of cortisol (your stress hormone) and fights inflammation in our body.
Remember…
Self-care routines are the key to unlocking a balanced life. And as with anything worth having in life, it takes practice. When developing a self-care plan, stick to the basics. Give yourself the time and space to build the practice into your routine. Start with a 10-day plan. Find what works for you and what doesn’t. Adjust as needed. Over time, you’ll get into the flow and self-care will be part of your daily life, rather than a term you hear thrown around when you’re on your last leg. You’re not alone. There’s a plethora of parents out there juggling lots of roles and responsibilities. We’re in this together, and if you need permission to practice a little self-care, just look around you. You’ve got this!
