Often when we seek out child care support, there’s a literal time slot that needs to be filled for someone to supervise your child. That’s the basic need most of us are looking for. When looking for care this year, I got that, but I also got so much more than I was expecting—things I didn’t realize that I needed. Sometimes the most powerful support doesn’t initially look like support.
Validation
Once my child was able to walk, we found ourselves outside a lot more. We started to meet our neighbors, we started going to more community events, and meeting other parents.
Being able to talk about parenthood with other parents is essential. Your child experiences so many changes early in life and inevitably that means you’re experiencing those changes too. I can’t tell you how many times just having a small insignificant conversation about the newest behavior my child was exhibiting brought relief in knowing that other parents were experiencing the same thing I was.
Information
How many times have we heard the saying “there’s no manual to parenthood.” There sure isn’t, but there are parents out there who most likely have gone through what you’re currently going through. Although there still are no concrete answers, other parents are happy to share what worked for their kid (or didn’t) and you can use that information to help you navigate.
I also want to give a HUGE shoutout to other people in our lives who have helped to raise kids. Our babysitters, our nannies, our daycare teachers. The knowledge that I have received from this support is unmatched. I have felt weights being lifted off of my shoulders through the information, suggestions, and tips these individuals have provided me and my family.
People Who Understand
Sometimes “one good friend is all you need.” And that can be true about finding support as well.
Recently my husband and I went on a date night. My child was having a really hard time with us leaving and it was hard on my husband and me emotionally to see him so upset. Once we eventually left, my sitter texted me and what she said provided more relief than the actual night out did. She said, “Just as much as I am here for him, I’m here for you both as well.” And wow, did I need to hear that.
I didn’t realize that I needed that kind of support from my sitter and it’s helped me reframe how I go about evaluating what our family needs when looking for care. This will shape how I interview and select sitters going forward.
Parenthood Isn’t Meant To Be Done in Isolation
To sum up 2023, community is what helped us. Daycare centers are just buildings, playgroups are just an idea, playdates are just an activity to do to fill the time. What makes these resources so amazing are the people who make them work.
I tend to think that I can do things and figure them out on my own. But when it comes to parenthood, I hate to say it, but it truly takes a village. And what has been most enlightening is that the village isn’t necessarily there to help watch my kid when I can’t be there, the village is to remind me that I’m not alone in this parenthood thing. Because if you let it, it can be really isolating.
So cheers to 2024, and cheers to finding people in our life who support us in those unexpected ways.
As a mother and previous sitter and nanny on Sittercity, Nicole understands both the challenges and rewards that come with parenthood and the nanny landscape. As the Sittercity Community Manager, Nicole is working to uplift the profession and be an advocate for busy families to find the support they need.
